Finding My DREAM Job!!!

Part One: Find What Excites You.

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I heard the scariest horror story the other day that, to sum it up, went something like this:

How you spend your days is how you spend your life.

I think I’m going to be sick. 

I am 26 years old. Let me break down that math for you. 25 is the new 18. 26 is the new 25, but we all know 27 will always be 30. Do the math, and I am seconds away from being 30. I must #reflect on my time spent, which, falls into the epidemic of having a c*rporate job. My day can be summarized as the following:

·       Open computer 

·       Come up with hashtags 

·       Feel immense guilt about having a suspicious amount of free time that I am not utilizing to my utmost ability in a way that is somehow both productive and creatively fulfilling.

Is this day then, the fate of my life?

As I knelt to beg tlog (The Lord Our God) to please for tlog (The Love Of God), shine some wisdom upon me as to what the h*ck I am supposed to do for my “career”, I got bored, checked my phone, and went onto Google. An answered prayer. With infinity at my fingertips, finding a DREAM job should be as simple as click click click!

And so I searched, “How To Find My DREAM Job.”

Young professionals with extremely vague job titles wrote blogs (similar to this! On the right path alert!) that suggest a practice of working backward to find what you are interested in, by way of an exercise of listing out the things that excite you. Which I shall take a stab at now! 

Top 10 Things That Excite Moi:

1.  A bird hopping around on my table at a coffee shop requesting crumbs, for which of course I always oblige.
   

2. Saturday Night Live cast alumni making cameos during the Host’s monologues, but only the ones who you can tell are true friends and wow this means so much to them that their friend would come on TV just to say hello. 
   

3. Getting the non-talkative Trader Joe’s cashier. Listen, I know they are trained to flirt! But I am not!  
   

4. Picking up loose change off the sidewalk, especially quarters (the only way I can do my laundry in my apartment building in the year 2024). I feel like a Victorian child who has come into a lucky streak reinforced by the jingling of change in my pocket with every step I take towards a new life (getting to do laundry).     

5. Henry Winkler. 
   

6. Finding my name on a souvenir keychain or shot glass in a gift shop. Whoever came up with that? That's my Albert Einstein. Shout-out to gift shops everywhere! 
   

7. When you're watching a movie with a group of friends and they look at an actor and go, "What other movies are they in?" And you KNOW what other movies they are in! Hugh Jackman was in Flushed Away! 
   

8. Little tiny baby miniature versions of everyday objects. You don’t know how cute a frying pan is until you see how small they can make them, and you might as well buy the whole kitchen set.
   

9. Flavored croissants including but not limited to almond, chocolate, and pistachio (can share some of its crumbs with that bird!)  
   

10. When there is a photo booth at the function.

Talk about DREAM jobs! Sign me UP!

Of course, I am not so naive as to think that this one exercise will solve my problems, but I do feel inspired to move forward with my search. 

For research purposes, I would like to include the antithesis of this list, to know what to avoid when looking at potential DREAM jobs.

Top 10 Things That Fill Me With Disdain:

1. Bad Breath (someone else’s). 
   

2. An outfit I planned in my head that looks horrible on me in reality when I try it on with only 4 minutes until the next bus that I must catch. 
   

3. Self-Help books.
   

4. Autocorrect not knowing what word I am aimlessly trying to spell, help me out computer, is that not your job? 
   

5. People standing in the middle of the sidewalk, if you need directions from your phone do us all a favor and prop yourself up against the nearest exterior of a J Crew Outlet or something, honey. 
   

6. Joni Mitchel not being on Spotify. 
   

7. Coming up with hashtags. 
   

8. Being bored!
   

9. Flight attendants, who find an excuse to sing into their microphone, this keeps happening to me? 
   

10. Receiving a compliment with the word, “actually” attached to the front of it. Just say what you need to say, don’t let me into this idea of some element of your surprise. 

These two lists are a great catalyst for my epic search for a job that is fulfilling, satisfying, and most importantly, a dream come true! 

I know this DREAM exists, it must, right? For so many people who have jobs that they continue to do, they must be DREAM jobs! Otherwise, what is the point? Surly, these endless jobs are not just a means to an end, right, guys? People don’t have jobs that they mindlessly hate and continue to fulfill because they are stuck in a cycle where staying a disappointing job is more rewarding and secure than having to leave, right? We are happy living in a world full of endless possibilities, a country where we can pursue and achieve our dreams just as soon as we identify them, right? Right? Right. 

Here I go!!